Bullying uncovered: causes and lasting impact

والصَّلَاةُ والسَّلاَمُ عَلَى سَيّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ أَشْرَفِ اْلمُرْسَلِيْنَ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ الطَّيّبِيْنَ الطَّاهِرِيْن

The term Bullying (tanammur) has become increasingly prevalent in recent times, resonating among individuals of all ages—in schools and universities, workplaces, and public spaces. This phenomenon extends far beyond children, appearing to have profoundly infiltrated society at large.

The term Bullying may appear to be a modern concept however, a closer examination of its forms and manifestations reveals that our noble religion has long condemned such negative behaviours, which unjustly inflict harm upon others. This encompasses verbal abuse, physical aggression, and even indirect harm, such as mimicry—whether through imitation or mockery.

Furthermore, in Kitab al-Ishtiqaq by ‘Abu Bakr Muhammad ibnu l-Hasan ibnu Durayd al-‘Azdiyy, it is stated: "The term ‘an-namr’ is derived from ‘at-tanammur’, which signifies intimidation and threatening behaviour. The expression 'So-and-so' ‘tanammara’ against another' refers to someone exhibiting a menacing attitude. Its root lies in a fierce temperament, from which the well-known predator, the leopard (an-namr), takes its name." End of quote.

‘Abu Shuja^ ad-Daylamiyy al-Hamdhaniyy, in his work Al-Firdaws bi-Maʾthuri l-Khitab, stated: "At-tanammur refers to speech imbued with anger." Ibnu Mansur, in Lisan al-^Arab, explained: "It is said of a man with ill manners, 'namira' or 'tanammara,' indicating that he has become hostile. Additionally, 'nammara wajhuh' describes someone who distorts and frowns his face."

It can be defined as a form of abuse and harm inflicted upon an individual or a group, manifesting in various forms, including physical or verbal bullying, whether direct or indirect. Hence, it is an age-old term rather than a modern one.

Forms and types of bullying

• Bullying Among Children: Occurs in various settings such as kindergartens, schools, homes, and neighbourhoods.
• Bullying Among Adults: Takes place in universities, through cyberbullying, or in professional environments as administrative or workplace bullying.

Physical aggression, such as hitting, is a common method of bullying among children due to their vulnerability and frequent inability to defend themselves. Conversely, physical bullying is less common among adults, who more often engage in other forms of bullying, including:

• Verbal Abuse: Such as name-calling or using offensive language.
• Psychological Harm: Through intimidation, coercion, or belittling a person.
• Emotional Harm: By repeatedly embarrassing the individual or spreading rumours about them.

Causes of its prevalence

• Quick Temper and Lack of Patience
• Inability to Control Anger
• Arrogance
• Envy: This, along with arrogance, falls under the category of spiritual maladies.
• Tendency to Criticise Others

 Some individuals attempt to justify their actions under false pretenses, framing them as honesty, personal freedom, joking, teasing, or mere laughter.

A significant factor contributing to the widespread prevalence of bullying today is the pervasive influence of social media. Many individuals, hidden behind screens, engage in cyberbullying by unjustly insulting and defaming others, often with little regard for the profound harm and negative repercussions it may inflict, potentially devastating the targeted individual.

The underlying cause of all these behaviours is a lack of piety. A truly God-fearer person, mindful of their actions both in private and public, would refrain from harming others sinfully—whether through cursing, insulting, hitting, mocking, intimidating, or frightening them, for instance.

The harmful effects of bullying

Bullying is a modern affliction that can be likened to a sharp instrument, as it causes psychological harm, inflicting pain on the person being bullied. Recent studies have shown that a poor mental state negatively affects an individual’s health and may contribute to the development of certain chronic illnesses, by the will of Allah.

A summary of some of these harmful effects

Effects on the Bully:

• Disobedience to the Creator (Allah): Inflicting harm on others without justification is a sin.
• Selfishness and Lack of Altruism: A tendency toward egocentrism, disregarding the well-being of others.
• Irritable and Unstable Mood: Frequent mood swings and a generally volatile temperament.
• Social Rejection: The individual may become alienated and rejected by society.

Effects on the Victim:

• Physical Harm: Pain and injuries caused by physical assault or direct abuse.
• Psychological Harm: Emotional distress resulting from physical harm, verbal abuse, mimicry, ridicule, and mockery.
• Impact on Health: Psychological harm can negatively affect a person’s health, contributing to chronic conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, blood clots, and others, by the will of Allah.
• Suicide Risk: Some individuals may resort to suicide due to weakened faith and despair.

Ways of Prevention and Treatment

One of the most effective ways to prevent and address bullying is to learn and adhere to the obligations Allah has set for us, including the obligation of gratitude. This means that we must not misuse Allah’s blessings in disobedience to Him. For example, showing gratitude involves refraining from using our tongues to curse, insult, or mock fellow Muslims, or engaging in any speech that causes unjust harm to others.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

"سِباب المسلم فسوق"

"Insulting a Muslim is an act of immorality (fusuq)."

Reported by Al-Bukhariyy.

Rather, one must show gratitude to Allah for this blessing by not using it in disobedience to Him.

Similarly, disobeying Allah with our hands is prohibited. It is forbidden to strike a Muslim without justification, as well as to intimidate them with a weapon. It is important to note that what is forbidden to say is also forbidden to write, as the pen serves as a second tongue. This applies to anything typed on a phone or computer as well.

The feet should not be used in disobedience, such as walking to spread malicious gossip about a Muslim, killing them unjustly, or engaging in any action that harms them without justification. This applies to all parts of the body that Allah has blessed us with.

A cause of bullying may be arrogance, which is a sin of the heart. It manifests when a person views themselves with pride and looks down on others with contempt or condescension, or when they reject the truth from someone, even though they know it is correct, simply because the person is younger or holds a lower rank in their work.

'Abu Dawud narrated in his Sunan from ‘Abu ‘Umamah, from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, who said:

"أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا، وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ ‌لِمَنْ ‌حَسَّنَ ‌خُلُقَهُ"

"I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise for the one who leaves arguing, even if he is right; and a house in the middle of Paradise for the one who leaves lying, even if he is joking; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for the one who perfects his character."

Arguing refers to a contentious debate that does not seek to establish the truth or refute falsehood. It is an argument that is not for the sake of Allah, but rather to conceal the truth or arrogantly elevate oneself above others. Such conduct is condemned by Allah, as it leads to distance from Him.

Imam Ash-Shafi^iyy said:

"إِنِّى أُجَادِلُ الْمَرْءَ لا أُحِبُّ أَنْ أَكْسِرَهُ إِنَّمَا أُحِبُّ أَنْ يَظْهَرَ الْحَقُّ وَلَوْ فِى جَانِبِهِ"

"I argue with a person not to defeat them, but to ensure that the truth prevails, even if it is on their side."

Therefore, Imam Ash-Shafi^iyy’s argument aimed to reveal the truth, not to overpower the person he was debating, unlike many others who argue to crush their opponents. This behaviour is one of the reprehensible traits that Allah does not accept.

And Allah, the Most Knowledgeable, knows best. Praise be to Allah, Lord of all the worlds.